Sad

Yes - we all knew it was coming... the day before I go back to work. It has been a rough day. I take a look at my happy little boy and hope that he will do okay tomorrow. I know he will, but I am still sad. This is definitely the hard part with wanting a balance - leaving your children to go back to work. I keep asking myself... what if Evan is scared? What if Theresa can't calm him down and he gets really mad? What if Evan thinks I abandoned him? Now, I have done this once before and I know it will be okay. I know this is what I want. I have the perfect situation worked out with the job share for 3 days a week. Emma is fine - Emma still loves me, but still... it is really hard. At one point tonight I was crying a little bit and Emma came up to me with her big blue eyes wide open and says, "Mama - are you sad?" and I nod my head and say yes. Then she says, "Don't worry Mama, I will get them." and then she wipes the tears off my cheeks with her little fingers. Sweet girl. Give me a few weeks and I will be happy to be back and will know that I have done the right thing. But, not right now.

We had a wonderful holiday. It was small and quiet. The food was good and the kids had a great time. Tim's son Eric came to visit for the day also, so that was nice too. The day after Thanksgiving we did some shopping. My sisters, Mom, and I were up at 6:00am to go shopping and I got a lot done. I think I have all the little kids, except Evan, taken care of. Evan is a hard one this year, but I will make sure he enjoys it a little bit! The stores were pretty crazy, but I think it is fun. As long as I don't encounter someone really cranky or mean, I do pretty good! Tim had the day alone with the kids and had a good time with that also.

The weekend was spent at my parents house for the rest of deer hunting and visiting some family that was up for the holiday - which was fun. We had discussed getting the Christmas tree, but decided against that as we were all tired and thought it was a bit too early.

With this, I leave you to get ready for work tomorrow. This means I need to print out a bunch of Evan pictures to bring and load my digital frame up with pictures. sigh... this IS what I want... really... it is.

Here is Evan last Tuesday.